Psalm 137

 Psalm 137

By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept

    when we remembered Zion.

There on the poplars

    we hung our harps,

for there our captors asked us for songs,

    our tormentors demanded songs of joy;

    they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”

How can we sing the songs of the Lord

    while in a foreign land?

If I forget you, Jerusalem,

    may my right hand forget its skill.

May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth

    if I do not remember you,

if I do not consider Jerusalem

    my highest joy.

Remember, Lord, what the Edomites did

    on the day Jerusalem fell.

“Tear it down,” they cried,

    “tear it down to its foundations!”

Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction,

    happy is the one who repays you

    according to what you have done to us.

Happy is the one who seizes your infants

    and dashes them against the rocks.

Yesterday was hard. It was a long day to end a long week. I made excuses and didn't take time to reflect yesterday. I didn't take the time to be still.

I failed to make Him my highest joy.

In the past, I would have used this misstep as an excuse to discontinue. I will just let it slip away.

But these past few months have taught me that I need Him, more than I even like to admit sometimes. I need Him every minute, ever hour. I need to be still, I need to pursue Him, I need Him to fight for me.

I need to take joy in Him, in every possible moment that I can.

So instead of beating myself up or trying to sneak into apathy, I find myself seeking His forgiveness. I find myself longing for Him and seeking Him more today so that I do not once again succumb to complacency. 

In these months of quarantine I found more, I was reinvigorated in my Savior and I do not want to lose any of that hope or passion. 

So today I seek repentance. I seek to move forward and continue to make the time to be still and meditate on His word and His promises. 

Instead of beating myself up, I find myself convicted. I find myself longing to seek His joys in my life above all else. 

And tonight, I pray that I continue to seek Him first every single day. I pray that I continue to pursue Him and be still in all His grace and in every plan He has laid out for me.

Dear Father in Heaven, forgive me for seeking my own comforts and desires yesterday. Forgive me for putting my needs or time demands above you. Forgive me for glorying busyness again and failing to take the time to be still and reflect on Your Word. Forgive me for taking the easy way out. I pray that as we move forward together, your Spirit moves in me and motivates me to pursue you no matter what. I pray that I continue to seek you and in moments of weakness like yesterday, I pray that you continue to pursue me and convict me just like you did today. I praise you for your wisdom and guidance and I am thankful to have found this lesson in this moment in my life. Before school and work begins again, I am blessed by the reminder that You are all I need. That you will fight for me, I need only to be still. I thank you for pursuing me when my own human wishes and laziness stand in the way. I pray for your forgiveness and that together we overcome this and continue to spend time together each day. Help me continue to long for you and seek you with all my heart. Help me rest in you. I pray that you lead me in your way and show me how to love this world and share your hope and peace. May I be graceful with myself as you have shown me grace and move forward. May I forgive myself and continue to seek you. One missed day does not mean I have to give up or punish myself - it just serves as a reminder of how desperately I need you.

My Jesus, I need you. I need you every hour. As I continue to move forward in the days ahead, I pray that I stick close to you. I pray that I am still in your presence and abide in every blessing found there. I pray that moving forward you continue to convict me and motivate me to seek you with all of my heart so that we can continue to build our relationship. I praise you for sacrificing yourself to give us this relationship. For showing me grace and giving me hope. I thank you with all that I am that I am free. That I am free to love and live in hope and peace in your Name. Once again I ask your forgiveness and pray that together we move forward. May I continue to take the time to be still and reflect in the wonders of your love.

Amen.